Showing posts with label pot of gold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pot of gold. Show all posts

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

I'm walking backwards for christmas



Christmas. Snow? WaterWetRain.

Santa. Presents? DealextremeCustomsNone.

2010. New Year's resolutions? PotOfGoldMustFinallyGetItAndLeaveABrownAndSmellySurpriseInIt

Health. Any better? HighCholesterolMucousPhlegmCatarrhArouarglHMHMHMHMHM.

Future. Hopes and wishes? OhLordPleaseLetThereBeBrains.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Lost in translation


Pixies, some interesting news for you:

English is not a god given gift to mankind.

I am delighted for the British Empire that they successfully managed to impose their language on the Irish nation. It is sweet to see your nice trials to keep your own language alive, although it is long dead and rotten as the meat in Superquinn's reduced prices section.
It's not a new phenomenon that you pretend to hate the English whilst at the same time admiring their football teams, TV shows, music and fashion and imitating their whole life style consistently: whatever insanity they come along with, e.g. moon boots combined with pyjamas, you adapt it.

Given that I am not surprised that you are acting with the same arrogance travelling to other countries and expecting everyone to speak your well-loved, sacred English like you do in the most ridiculous accent you could imagine (it's not teef it's a thief, you pronounce the th by curving your tongue, slightly upwards at the tip - creating a shape similar to a spoon between the tip and the base. The tip of the tongue should be touching the bottom edge of the top row of teeth, on the narrow part/edge, you dumbasses).

I just went to Sicily to escape your dreadful weather and to get at least a couple of nice sunny days this year.
More than once I saw how red-as-a-lobster, sunburned Irish tourists were speaking away in English to domestic Italian waiters or vendors not even making the slightest effort to ask beforehand if they speak English at all. It satisfied myself to see that these waiters didn't give a shit about this disrespectfulness and kept giving answers in Italian to them. The outcome was that these pixies ordered something they didn't know what it is as they couldn't remeber a word French or Spanish that they "learned" in school by teacher Mr Fritz and Mrs Scorchio, so they weren't even able to derive from the base of the words in the menu. Therefore, the redhaired Irish couple sitting at the table next to me were eating frog's leg now, in place of the wished Pizza Funghi and were drinking tomato juice instead of red wine. I overheard an angry conversation between them saying that it was unbelievably rude that the waiter didn't actually speak a word English and that they were tourists and would expect that at least in restaurants there would be a basic level of English comprehension.
I think it's absurd and paradox as the same bunch of people are getting annoyed at home by foreigners speaking their native languages in public instead of English although themselves are not actually meant to be part in that conversation.


Later on the plane on my way back I noticed other Irish people giving out that the announcements on the plane where made in Italian first an then in English. They got really pissed off about that and couldn't understand.


Pixies: arrogance doesn't suit you and doesn't make sense. Go back to your farm, eat some potatoes and watch your English favourite team not winning the league title again but don't bother travelling to countries where a different language is being spoken if you can't handle it. You are a disgrace for the whole European Union and as you now finally voted for being a part of it, you better cop on if you still want to fill up your pot of gold drooling over the millions the people of bigger and civilised countries as Germany, England, France and Italy are working very hard for day by day. Stupid is as stupid does. Over and out.

Thursday, 1 October 2009

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide


Just a quick note.

As in the near future (tomorrow!), right after the Lisbon referendum (I command you to vote YES this time!), the recently new elected Power-Germany and the best France since Johnny Hallyday will rule Europe - and especially your little rainy, greenish, moist, damp island - with an iron hand, you might think about booking flights now to escape to other, nicer countries.

To support you in doing do, I want to give you some advice.

I am not sure if you have heard of this, but I came across this airline yesterday and think their value can't be beaten, it is called Ryanair, and basically all you have to do is go to their website www.ryanair.ie and book a one-way flight online. It is a so called low-cost airline, where you can save a lot of money. Their CEO, yur man Michael O'Leary, seems to be a sly and very likeable person. I think they are offering a great service for small money and if I got it right, it is even an Irish airline, ironically enough that the only good thing you ever came up with, serves you pixies to leave your country and never come back. I'll stay here for another while, enjoying the silence and improved air quality when you'se are gone, checking if you left the pot of gold somewhere. I am sure you can't bring it with you, cause the weight restrictions on Ryanair flights are very tight, so happy days.
Anyways, I thought I would just let you know pixies.
I don't expect to see you here anymore by the end of the week.
Take it easy.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying

And I am dead, as dead I well may be

You'll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Plan 9 from outer space


Typical,

using google this morning to look for possible options to find your pot of gold (I will get it one day, that's for sure), a slightly anticipation for a rare natural phenomenon arose in me, as I saw that there will be a fantastic opportunity to see a spectacular meteor shower tonight.
I realised that's my way outta here: Make a wish for every falling star I see ("Please make it happen that I will finally can steal the pot of gold off the ugly leprechaun sitting on it by giving him a 360 round-house kick Chuck Norris style, let Mary Harney explode poll lap dancing Enda Kenny, let Johnny Logan be their next Taoiseach, let Pat Kenny return to The Late Late Show and last but not least: let me go home") and I will be happy for the rest of my life. It was crystal clear I am amost there when I looked out of the window and saw this:



Thanks Pixies, this was only the chance of my lifetime, but thanks very much!

Monday, 20 July 2009

Dance my love, dance

An excellent example of how cute and at the same time funny you Irish are. My heart makes a jump when I see things like that happening again and again. It jumps to the rhythm of the music, my smile gets bigger with each beat of the drum. Adrenaline starts to flush through my body and finally my hope is growing that one sweet day I will find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

 
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